HISTORY

8.5.20
if you’ve ever wondered what its like to be an immigrant
think of your childhood as a country

HISTORY

6.10.20
for the officer that felt his knees were so precious
he had to use another man’s neck as padding
now all our vocal chords are strained
and they are no longer pleading 

you never deserved pleading
not when their voices are systematically 
unfit for quarantine in a time 
when your last breath and your next meal 
are tied to the same paycheck

iin the eight minutes and forty-six seconds

it took you to deduce that man had a criminal file
did you ever wonder
if that man had a child
a lover
friends
im sure you didn’t
this system is as crooked as your precious legs

back in the day
they just called it hanging
but who needs a noose now
we you can simply take the knee

the world is watching America
the world is watching you burn
like that building on 7th and Grant
like her skin under your spray
his eyes in your gas
and we are using those tears to
bookmark the constitution fourth amendment
while tearing down your confederate flags


In their name. Say Their Names. Out loud.

HISTORY

6.6.20
i never knew history would be used to store history
but here we are

she sprays suntan lotion in the air and says
“a yes, the type of fog i want to smell.”

two weeks ago a crowd of primarily colored people
smelled tear gas and pepper spray
today
a disproportionate amount of
black and latino people
fog up the the inside of ventilation tubes

but yeah
white skin burns easy.

HISTORY

6.2.20
they are the echos of
cities under curfew
ribcages breaking open under media shut down

i am willing
to loose my dreams
to make yours happen

look at that privilege, will ya?

HISTORY | Philippines III

3.8.20
scared of bottomless water
you know the one that hides your feet from your thighs
i’m on my knees begging fear
to scare me to my senses

there is momentum here
Mayon taints the skies with premonition
i can taste earthquake in my shivers
for once it is me, circling sharks
diving without knowing where we land this ocean
is a bigger ship than those already sailed

im willing to go deeper
for a German from Switzerland has reminded me
that can love again
on nights with full moons we can
finger paint starry nights with fireflies

HISTORY | India

2.5.20
you taste like saffron and burgundy
painted caramel and texture
a tightrope for wind to lean on

smells of rose water smog
northen star when youre lost and directionless
each street unlocking a new savor of bravery
sweetened of awed-melancholy

this way, the universe sat waiting to become,
quietly, in the ether of space and time

fear is a gift – don’t be scared to see what it teaches you

HISTORY

1.2.19
feeling alien
not alien like you don’t belong here
alien like i was ripped from my bed in the dead of night in nothing but a scrubby night gown and no modesty
ripped from the inside to scratch out some life scar-tissue and replaced with incredulity and pain

alien like, waking up the next morning and not being able to look anyone in the eyes
like after so long, finally understanding what hardnened the women in my family
knowing it
and wanting desperately to un-know-it
seeing pitty in their eyes you poor monster tainted stained and othered
like everything should be fine now, right?

there’s pain in here
bits of yourself sharp like shards beneath a microscope slide
cutting at your insides
imagine, stepping on glass from within

there’s nothing poetic about this
it’s messy, and ugly
its shameful, humiliating, heartbreaking
sterile until it isn’t
covered in blood and mucus and tears and
back on earth
a little less human
a little more other

HISTORY

10.12.19
you celebrate 30 years of life
and im still tittering on the edge of a universe
unsure if im willing to sacrifice
my own for theirs
somehow the pleasure
of treating each other well
has become gestation fuel
to believe in a future
and demand it.

the body is a non-negotiable place to learn.

HISTORY

10.7.19
this morning the green fists of ferns were getting ready
to break my heart
their green holding
all that dampness and recklessness
gladly, brightly – beauty the brave, the exemplary
unlike this heart of mine
cowardly loving this world
do you cherish your humble and silky life?
i alone in this room hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
softly exclaiming of my dearness
to be wild and perfect for a moment
before wilt

the choice of unfurl has never been mine to make
there is nothing Godlike about me
nothing creation
nothing discernment for who lives and who dies
with a universe growing in my belly
nothing matters like it did anymore

on that day, everything changed.