1.16.17

JACK-LIEN

You were only supposed to be 

A notable alternative 

To the best option at hand

But I can’t lie.

These  arms have held me

More together 

Than any fortune 

Has ever tried.

Between sorrow and fame, 

What if we go all the way? 

You know nothing –

You know more, you see more 

Than I could wish for.

Perhaps this is the way it all unravels

Perhaps you will never know

The mess I’ve made of our story

Perhaps you will only know the joy 

The laughter, the tenderness 

The adoration which you’ve harbored, 

You will never know, 

My eyes were once kelidoscope, 

You will look at me, and only see 

Your reflection mirrored back.

You’re not wrong. 

You’ve been the only one, 

To take the leap,

Granted,

Unknowing 

You’ve taken me in full.

Perhaps this IS our fortune

Our story will only be happy 

Perhaps then 

There will be no ending. 

The End.

2.15.17

VELVET

On second thought

Perhaps I held on

Too tight

To the ropes holding my undoing

That I may be

More wise than happy

Is only fair

As long as we enthrall

In the kindness of all wethrawls

JACK-LIEN

1.15.16 

Root canals without 

Laughing gas

But I’ve got a sweet tooth for you

Ripping the enamel from my bones

Taking my heartbreak in your hands

And soothing it to hum 

These late-night tumbles lead to early afternoon coffe dates

You’ve made a picnic of my sorrow 

Dinning into me ravenous 

Sinking your teeth

In the most vulnerable parts of my sensitivities 

So who is wolf, and who is lamb now? 

You know nothing, 

Yet I’m giving you everything.

Is this overflow of openness 

A symptom of disaster? 

Or I’m I 

Falling for

The lamb that ate the wolf.

1.8.17 

4:00 AM

This is a nightmare 

Terrors and cold sweats paralysis 

Making the panting breathless

Gut feelings and 

Sinking ships

I’m bland spaghetti 

Mixed and scrambled – untie me

 Building knots  in my spine 

With the weight of these trays

Muffled, muddled, mussle with 

Expectations 

When your favorite pillow 

Breaks your neck

Asking the clock to tick faster 

Get this over with

Slower I

Need more

Time I

Can’t move with the pull of all these strings 

Virginia 
make a topography out of me
to flip
my numbers into some muddled righteous  dyslexia
Correcting the child out of youth
scratch that innocence off your face kid
here we learn adaptation
is the finest form of courage
and survival of the fittest
isn’t just for those with claws.

look at you child
monstrous beast
you’re terror makin
mothers cry at the sight of you
pick you belly up from the table
and scratch American into your doll house

you won’t fit in
through that small window anyway
even the boys won’t play with you no more

Colombia
i can’t even speak about you

Athens
you smell like whiskey and cheap vomit
i’ve neer tastend beer before
this can of worms becomes a legend dating back
to green fairies
fairly learning how to prance in a circles

train tracks
train me how
train wrecks
i’m taking it in the back seat
fish and fries
exactly what you’re thinking
i was too young
you were to rough.

 

 

 

10.08.15
“two lies with one truth”
for the sake of omission
let me just tell you
i am always always honest with you.

i know

she’s a smooth with transition as i am with sitting still
if i shook you,
you could mistake the air
for an earthquake
call me magic
back and fourth
between circles of our youth
you know me
un-ripe
in the morning
take my  blanket colored eyes and cover yourself
so the moon remembers how to shine.

10.07.15
i find myself
more in more
resenting morning.
what i want isn’t what i have
it is the ideas i fall in love with
the lust, forthcoming
murders that passion of the soul.

“For reason ruling alone, is a force confining. And passion, left unattended, is a flame the burns to its own destruction.” 
K.G

10.06.15
for now
know the nurture of safety
is painting at my grounded
i will write every day
until i don’t
she’ll be here
until she’s not
know that the lightning of pleasure
is always a few strokes away
always

distance,
in retrospect
is far more intimidating
I’ve forgotten how many miles my feet can cover
I’ve forgotten – it is my nature
to keep looking forwards
leave that step behind.

 

10.04.15

having a grand ol fukin time being smitten
i’ve been dating a writer
she’s more of an actor
really more of an actor
she’s cum
lustfull and cancerous
i’ve answered open
wet from the rain
ready for heat.
ready to re-learn how to breath
drinking sleepless nights
broken brakes and a set of keys.

6.15.16

cherry blossoms are not the enemy
whats dangerous is crappy pens on the wrong side of the page
they make too much noise
like those damned boots
fuck your boots
my bare feet have much more soul
than your damned fucking boots

6.12.15

please know that i’m so
so
oh
sorry

“I don’t know what it is about you that opens and closes. Only something in me understand, you are the fairest of all roses. Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.”
e.e cummings

I understand now
unlike most
i’m not the victim of attachment
that beauty behind transition is
desire for more.
brave or idiotic.
my hands will not be cages
simply curious guests
but they are messy,
clumsy,
they have not yet learned grace
they have not yet learned
how to leave not trace.

06.04.15
it is an  ultimatum
i’ll do something good for myself
we’ll change and get better
or we’ll hurt
then change
and get better.
its time to put a muzzle
on the tyrant that will silence the symptom.

no one carries my hips under their arm
you do not define the structure of my lungs
i made an error
to muffle away my pride
hoping silence would leave room for you kindness
it’s empty

i hear echoes in my own please
you body pressed against my own
repulsed at my repulsion
i should be able to love
you lips
are sour
and my tongue is tired of the rough patch

nature to you
is the criminal tried dishonoring you status of self confinement
to me
the fire licking the mountain
is as sharp and malignant
as it is necessary.
not a lot of people will hear the grass scream

I feel accountable for every last blade of pain

as much as it hurts
i would let it burn.
this is where we are different
I seek to tame the instinct of fight
and flight
to redefine self preservation
with the empathy of acceptance
if that means I have to clench my teeth every time you cut me
i will do so
until my Bite
can no longer pierce skin