GARFIELD
10.21.20
the unwilling morning is the hardest time to be awake
and 4 AM knows all my secretes
she knows i only sleep with people i love
which is probably not helping my current case of insomnia
after all,
you can’t just sleep with the moon.
my neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, my head aches
a type of tired that repeats old patterns it makes you
say the same thing twice
say the same thing twice
or maybe, instead of counting sheep i’ll
count the buckles of my future straightjacket
how many, do you think, to hold me down?
most people seek to be proven wrong
i seek to be proven human
can’t tell if i’m looking to escape my body
or trying to find it in other people
it’s better to offer no excuse, than a bad one
I don’t in fact suffer from insanity. Turns out most days I can actually say that I enjoy it. Because for fucks sake we’re all damaged. It’s a universal component of the human condition, like the stages of grief, deja vu, and expired coupons. The human brain wasn’t engineered to be othered the way insanity demands.
So fucking fuck you, you fucking dick prick brain. Fear’s a bullshit artist, and you almost had me paying museum fees. But I know there’s a pandemic out there, and courage is the ability to face what’s not defined.
I wasn’t made for predictability. And above all, I’m not willing to pay the interest rate due in debt that comes with worry. So, If I find myself in fears or desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world. So may I bless this stupid rock with some alien morality while I’m still kicking.