Fortuna

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5.25.17
FORTUNA
im going to tell you
you will be visited by either the Lamb
or the Beast
but as usual,
only i will attend here.
like the moon who invented rhythm
i’m now a servant to civilization
who uninvited it.
theres been an ebb against potential here
a halt in scrutiny
a tsk tsk to routine
there is such thing as too much of a good thing
just ask the desert man drowned in the ocean
not too many sunsets  have been seen from that angle
there are words in here you may not reach
months that escaped
like scrutiny
that last beer in an alcoholic’s six pack
they’re not for you
those secrets are not for you
those months are not for you
so when you hold me next time,
watch for the tide of my breath
soft like my skin on your warmth
picture me small
mouse-sweet and drip-dripping tender
but know and wonder
there are secrets in there
some we will not mention
even to the loudest of roars

tell me again now,
how gentle.

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5.23.17
FORTUNA

the gift of humanity
is the claim by the self
and our lives
become poems we were born to tell

we shed time the way your body sheds weight
of days behind our now
but can you grasp it?
now, i mean
before then and soon all become
muddled into systems of feelings drawn out
by the same creature
who trained whistles and rails on time.

until then, or now at least
we’ll be wrapped in sun kissed skins
and i’ll give you mine
just in case.

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5.16.17
BOOT(S)TRAPS
there was a glimpse of poetry
you have not tasted before
lovers calling your mouth
ashtray
flicking them off with your teeth

.

this has nothing to do with the threat of strangers in the forest
i’m making sure you understand the moral of the story

forgive my salt
but i will skin hides
and dig my way out with my teeth
if i must.

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4.30.17
FORTUNA

you’ll sacrifice an entire eyelash
a whole world and your wish
only for my happiness.
nothing could touch me more
the spider’s web can catch the moonlight
but cannot keep it.
if you insist on being as simple as a fox
i will insist on being as complicated as one too.

perhaps i called your name so loudly
trying to shout my panicked pulse.

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4.11.17
BOOT(S)TRAPS
sugar gliders and six of swords
everything you need is already there for you
you are ready
enjoy the journey.
it doesn’t matter where you land
keep your goals clear
and you determination clearer
taste satisfaction
sex is not love
but merely a territory love
takes over
love is a privilege
and all privileges are undeserved and must be payed over
and so we hold peace
for this lightness
but love has a double aspect;
it is non-being
but it is also being, the terrifyingly material being of time.

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3.7.17
FORTUNA
finished the game
before i played the hand
now
bad instincts and obedience to lust
all tarnished in knots we tie within our species
coming all fool
come in our forest
all push me back in
to myself
hands behind my back i’m pinned
and needles don’t sting nearly as bad as they used
trying on your warnings just for skin
shaving off fur from my mussel
too sudden to react
we’re going with he motion of the
train we pushed off track
free-lancing our affections
we’ve got no shields left.

she molds love like an effect of mercury
i’m silk smoke
trying to understand what hats are poison
and which are mad mad lost our minds
there’s no pause to this soundtrack
no repeat skip breath
just responsive urges
“butterflies dipped in honey”
what sticky messy sweetness
but she holds my wrists above my head
and there’s no other disposition
to my sanity
than her breath on neck.
perhaps this is our catalyst
perhaps it takes an avalanche
of pin me down
tie me down
to tame the beast.
can you hear our sides purr?
never have my polarities
been so agreeable.
now look what you’ve done,
i’m on my knees for you.

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FORTUNA
3.5.17
i’m good at war
i’ve fought tooth nail and cedar at the  ready
shouting at the most stubborn mountain
yes, i’ve even moved stone
turned it to gold
watched it melt between my fingers
they call me Minos
now you’re golden plum ripe and
delicious drip dripping though my lipsbetween pants moans
and whispered sweet goodnes
i love the way you love
deeply.
calling my own bluff
sitting on my hands
what can become of my world
when we have to ask permission for our own pleasure?
what will become of the beast
when starved and chained
no gentle lead here
is exile
no exhale for anyone
shock ready and primed for now
capricious desires
obediently following your pleasures
allow me dear perhaps
a better, a newer
some blinders to allow
these feral teeth
to bite another’s dinner.

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FORTUNA
2.17-18.17
lets not forget the reason we’re here eh?
a hint of salt and harshness
i’m swimming in affection
FOX once called me a fire
that burned everything it touched
lover, you are glacier at the edge of my map
give me a chance to explore the uncharted
soft snow blankets – there’s too much to see here
between fluff-huff colored bed
there’s a prism of infinite inside this
white.
i’m a fickle hound you see,
or have been – sniffing up the wrong dresses for as long as i can remember
refusing to lick the bone for fear
of finishing the marrow
now paws in air
i’ve found loyalty –
these mad dogs mad dogs laddie
i’m all mad laz
dazed in serenity and capacity.
there’s always room for redemption
some men spend years ridding the earth to extinction
would you look at them now
creating stars from the finger paints of your last battle.
sweet little Scorpion,
you’ve brought nothing but death
to my furies
stinging them slowly with sweetness and love,
i’m breaking every cell open
releasing the old ribs from past lovers
and reminding that reluctant Eve that
pomegranates are still preferable
to some side-show “apple of my eye.”
thank you.

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JACK-LIEN
2.6.17
don’t look at me
doe-eyed and tender
like the shine behind the glimmer isn’t anything
but naivety.
i told you – i won’t lie to you
i will tell you, all that is well and good
drawing wishes in the sand
we could be pebbles
it would be like that
i hold you humbly
whisper untainted truths in your ear
we consume each other
we are cursed with each other’s company
complacency and routine
that’s all we’d know
until it isn’t
one day ripping the sheep’s shirt from my
snarl.
that shit’s heavy
soaked wool and dodging bullets
you deserve better than these
cold-calls and coffee dates cut short.
an avalanche of conscience
you’ve come in tumbling.

BOOT(S)TRAPS
2.6.17
catching up to co-unt
monte-cristo gives me a penny
for every thought
id well-wished have
so we stretch
thinly breaking into lanterns
i’m blanket pour out of stability
too much
too many
too heavy
i’m not ready for
the in-pour out put of expectation.
there’s not enough time in the world
to hold my wishes
in sync.

FORTUNA
2.5.17
slurring slingshots my way
i know red flags when i see them
better than anyone

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02.02.17
FORTUNA
pebble valley
i’ve been here before
before you i mean,
i’m learning to allow
to sink and breath
if you only knew, the state i was in
before you caught me
belly up and tender
if i told you
no one has ever seen my full
would you run
or would you hold me –
embrace the honey
and never forget where the sting comes from

BOOT(S)TRAPS
how dare you
i bet, you’ve never heard me scream
a little too close to home
have you any idea what we can do
don’t rest easy child
this world is out for you
alternate-facts don’t deceive the blind
and we’re roaring
i may be a big fish in a small pond
but you don’t know
the ripple i can have
when you’ve threatened my home

SUGARDADDY
there’s calmness in the air
the kind that lets you know
it’s okay to jump off the highest mountain
and swim the deepest oceans
a kind of life-vest
urging you to go further
deeper
a kind of challenge you can accept
at the risk of
taking on another,
and another.
comfortability reminding you
that you can always be
uncomfortable