Fortuna

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POLY
1.28.17
lets dance within rhythm
i’ll steal the dance floor and charge this crowd
i have a feeling
you’ve never seen fire
welcome to the
movement
the pulse
the rhythm of what
we do.

FORTUNA
1.27.17
ever wanted something so bad
your teeth ached?
do you see me – my surroundings
special awareness
tell me you don’t see
the treasure in your hands.
modest little mouse i may be
i know non-the-less
the world holds me in a pedestal
succeeding in all trials
dinning with the masters
while having breakfast with the rascals.
im uncharted waters
land to be discovered
which i offer at your palm
you
above everyone else
the hungry, the special, the spectrum, the fox, the giving, the linen,
i offer this to you and only you
if only given the chance
i could pour into kindness, fall into safety, give into love
if only given the chance
i would hold you – above
the crowds, above the suitors, the beggars, the admirers
tell me you don’t see the treasure
that you may just pass
tell me – please
that my destiny
isn’t just for the masses.

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1.23.16
FORTUNA
last straw
i’ve taxed the last of my coins
thrown in a well
and hit rock bottom
there’s no water here
no river flowing for my stream
simply
disappointment
i’ve come open chest and artery flowing
revealed the child pose behind the
downward dog
perhaps the lesson in this
is to learn your own value
learn
when to walk away.
now:
leave the sick to the illness
my place is elsewhere.
im done
fighting for affections that have never compromised in my direction.

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1.18.17
BOOT(S)TRAPS
movement and drawback
there’s a shift in the waves
young thieves stitching at the coutures
making line works for the new incoming
there’s nothing gum-draw about frivolity
there’s only hold on and keep there.
perhaps our steps aren’t loud enough
perhaps our purpose isn’t clear
but we are here
and it is our purpose
to hold space,
equally and amicably.
don’t you dare,
disrupt my sleep.
i will come armed
forceful and ready to claw and rake my sanctuary.

FORTUNA
loosing the hold
I’m giving you my heart
it’s running out of juice
here’s a toast
to lovers lust
i’d sing to a lover’s ending
but the ecstasy is wearing off.

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1.12.17
FOX AND HOUND / HISTORY
choices
to make the purest man alive
gemstone
dear fox… you’ve won a hound
by proxy
it’s safer this way I tell you
Fortuna’s got a bounty in neck
but you, you my dearest have got singularity and devotion
if only the cards were reversed
if they played in her fortune
if the other woman
was no longer
dearest fox
you’d be building a new den.
dearest Fox,
I can’t lie.
if the cards were reversed –
if only i had a choice –
without hesitation,
you wouldn’t stand a chance.

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1.8.17
FORTUNA
somehow things make sence
Amor Fati
it would be vein to call it a stumble upon
this was never our doing
we will continue
to check the watches on our wrist and pray
that this day is a good day
the moon does not miss sun
that life can live when time has stopped
“and to this day the sun has never said to the Earth;
you owe me.”

LANDMARK
your tuning fork landmark roadway has called
i’ve met you before
among the lay-away incarnations.
woman-warrior,
your a company confidant crocheting wool across my gentle.
Curtain hair, red fired dancing through your bellows
my elbows are touching your perhaps
and we’re making connections
allowing the doe to swim through the insides
and moving forward.
we’re songbird, we’re kindred, we’re general marked down page swimmers.
a confirmation that Fortuna does not abandon
her stories
we – the cantadoras of her cuenta cuentos
“I live in my dreams — that’s what you sense. Other people live in dreams, but not in their own. That’s the difference.” here’s where we tie the knots in our do’s.

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1.7.17
BELLADONNA
it takes courage
to marry the salt with the hungry
our trips around the world have left us dizzy with exhaustion
tired of “waiting for godot”
enough to teach anyone
that the world would still be round
even for people with legs as short as ours.
let no one make a feast of your bite
don’t ever apologize for having too much bark
thats how we weed
the humble pure from the painted-actors.
some would call us
queens of self sabotage
we know
it is our discernment
that keeps our foundations stable.
thank you, for teaching me to never settle
for anything less.

FORTUNA
i told you – my world would break you
leave gracefully

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1.6.17
Divided
attempting to please
the desire for fulfillment
and desire for comfort
opposing forces.
Telling me speed up
and hit the brakes
running.
trying to speak
when my vocal cords
are being used to tie my hands
behind my own good intentions.

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1.5.17
HISTORY
all we want is love
right
“(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands”
i’m overflowing with giving
drips of affection are running down my spine
i’m slipping on my own
CAUTION WET FLOOR
refusing to settle for less than an a sea
“you sure must be strong when you feel like an ocean made warm by the sun.”

FORTUNA
slow descent
i’m slipping
can you feel it?
it is not in my nature to harm
or be harmed – anymore
im hardwired and site-locked
to ssl-owly close doors leading
somewhere
frightening.
no longer wishing to conquer lands
i wish to only host
my own domain
my wishes are out of scope
it’s a fools game
quickly losing innocence.
Gold Heart, you are pure.
exhale my name in relief.
Gold Heart, you can’t catch without first
casting a line – there’s no hook for me to repeat.
my hands aren’t made for holding
anything but space.

SUGARDADDY
access denied
i’ve failed the test
a plunging execution
running rampant with
battle wounds
trying to recover
but my energy’s expended –
feeding the thirsty with an empty canteen.
optimism is a rough ladder
when your foundation(s) has been shattered.
pick yourself up pick yourself up pickyourselfup.

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1.4.17
BELLADONNA
mirror – you’ve always been the clearest
i cried for you
just like you have for me
in cities where no man sleeps easy
we rest the goldfish in the platter
cannibals picking at each other’s scabs
waiting for the next full moon
to call our hunchback pretty.
Our destruction isn’t pretty
our wild is just that
muddy windy-cold
with no dry socks and
too many ice cubes in your drink.
we’re wretched
and now wrinkled finding calm
but we’ll always be the
vagabond inside
did you know i cried when you said
“what I feel for anyone is only a portion of what I feel for you.”
vagabond, thief, deviant, you tyrant
everything within you is reflected in me.

thank you. thank you. thank you.
my hands,
my eyes,
could never do justice
to how my heart
rejoiced in these words.

FORTUNA
the grate dodge,
retracting. i’m a broken yo-yo
too tangled in my string to fully come down.
were those moments real?
did you truly hold me?
or was i
trophy – a conquest to prove your heartache
healing.
you’ve shown me sweetness,
but only just enough
tenderness
but only just the edge.
i’m too scared to play a guess
so i’m checking my own king.
you cunt, you lovely cunt
don’t make me happy. please don’t fill me up
and let me think
that something good can come out of this.
look at my bruises. Look at this gaze.
do you see graze inside of me? Do you
see it growing before your very eyes,
eroding me?

POLY
DreamWalking
final decision
we’re closing in on eachother
do you think i don’t know what it feels
to be choked out by a ring
tetanus tease
its simply
subconscious

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1.03.17
minor set back
a gentle nudge across the face
ice cold bath from the neck
to remind you of your place.
Over eager child,
your dogs are walking your leash
and you’ve stepped into empty space.
Temperance XIV
and regain ground
this fantasy isn’t real
and there is no such thing
as one basket
for stubborn eggs refusing to hatch.
you wrote your story,
now lay in it
let your lover(s) run their hands along your spine
bookmark chapters of their triumphs
may you be subject
to limitation of devotion
where no one will know
how much blood your heart,
undistracted,
can circulate through
no one
not even you.

……………

there’s tremble in my gentle
slowly uncovering the rubble
i’ve been starved for months
holding trouble next to mirror
but i’m changing
a glimmer catching the moths
circling my devotion they know there’s a light here
you echo what im too scared to think
and love,
unconditionally.
a teal weave across my halo.
Even ogres know craft.