Muse

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4.21.7
BELLADONA
it would be an injustice
of spring to blame the pollen for the rain
just like some of the largest
most beautiful flowers smell like rotting corpses.

crowds father ofter decades just to see Death in bloom.

Belladona is commonly inwon amongst herbalists and toxicologists alike as on of the most poisonous plants on this Earth.
but i have loved you from the moment you held my hand and called me friend.
boxes, bags and and an entire half a year’s reading list later
i know your place amongst the living doesn’t belong with the shadows we’ve sown onto our buttons.
there comes a time to look both ways and cross the street
alone
and you’re crossing out your Petter Pan life
for the land of milk-honey thyme.

i will be there
in every forest walk
in every tea sip

i will be there when fox fire lights the wondering eyes
and i will be there when wolves threaten to claw out our skin
because they do
and they will.
just like we re-build our sensibilities after
each beasteal impulse

this is for you.

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4.11.17
BOOT(S)TRAPS
sugar gliders and six of swords
everything you need is already there for you
you are ready
enjoy the journey.
it doesn’t matter where you land
keep your goals clear
and you determination clearer
taste satisfaction
sex is not love
but merely a territory love
takes over
love is a privilege
and all privileges are undeserved and must be payed over
and so we hold peace
for this lightness
but love has a double aspect;
it is non-being
but it is also being, the terrifyingly material being of time.

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3.7.17
FORTUNA
finished the game
before i played the hand
now
bad instincts and obedience to lust
all tarnished in knots we tie within our species
coming all fool
come in our forest
all push me back in
to myself
hands behind my back i’m pinned
and needles don’t sting nearly as bad as they used
trying on your warnings just for skin
shaving off fur from my mussel
too sudden to react
we’re going with he motion of the
train we pushed off track
free-lancing our affections
we’ve got no shields left.

she molds love like an effect of mercury
i’m silk smoke
trying to understand what hats are poison
and which are mad mad lost our minds
there’s no pause to this soundtrack
no repeat skip breath
just responsive urges
“butterflies dipped in honey”
what sticky messy sweetness
but she holds my wrists above my head
and there’s no other disposition
to my sanity
than her breath on neck.
perhaps this is our catalyst
perhaps it takes an avalanche
of pin me down
tie me down
to tame the beast.
can you hear our sides purr?
never have my polarities
been so agreeable.
now look what you’ve done,
i’m on my knees for you.

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FORTUNA
3.5.17
i’m good at war
i’ve fought tooth nail and cedar at the  ready
shouting at the most stubborn mountain
yes, i’ve even moved stone
turned it to gold
watched it melt between my fingers
they call me Minos
now you’re golden plum ripe and
delicious drip dripping though my lipsbetween pants moans
and whispered sweet goodnes
i love the way you love
deeply.
calling my own bluff
sitting on my hands
what can become of my world
when we have to ask permission for our own pleasure?
what will become of the beast
when starved and chained
no gentle lead here
is exile
no exhale for anyone
shock ready and primed for now
capricious desires
obediently following your pleasures
allow me dear perhaps
a better, a newer
some blinders to allow
these feral teeth
to bite another’s dinner.

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03.03.17
MUTT
i know now why they called you an angel
adoration and longing
your eyes never lie to me
there’s only purity in your instinct
i wonder what you think of me
mother to none but perhaps you
re guarding my every breath
knowing the smell of cigaret’s as the
homeland i once cradled in.
i slept in wool and twine too
tangled like the collar-red around your neck
its a challenge, effort and ease never came
balanced in our natures.
without you, i would know no limit
it sounds wrong
but we are earth bound for a reason.
my love, i know the days have been anguish and uncertainty
now i promise to do right,
by the peace in our pace
let your love grow,
into peace and security –
know i will never let bad lady come again
and if she does;
bear no fangs, hold your growls,
it’s my turn to be the feral.
you rest,
easy in your comfort bed
or mine.
we’re not so different you see
and i thank you daily for the loyalty
love, and friendship that is your presence in my life.

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2.27.17
JACK-LIEN
you radiant avalanche of senses
you overflow of pleasure
tigers eyes breathes by my neck
and i shiver at your hurricane.
the ecstasy of feral finding feral
we’re both mad here
tasting gold dripping into my tongue tip-
ping the scale
we’re magnetic.
you’ve given me the gift of anonymity
i give you in return exposure
fully my crimes now dimmed in the
curve of your spine
you have me – all to yourself
for as long as you want me
damn the follies looking down on
our rest easy, we’ve found harmony
guiltless and free
i’m diving deeper into your collarbone.
i’m not afraid anymore.

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2.25.17
JACK-LIEN
even fruits say our name with a punch in the gut
i’m calling in the winter
before spring even touches our hands.
i’ll be leaving tomorrow,
unmasked,
untarnished
untainted –
breath me out oak
and breath in melancholic memory of you untainted lover,
remember me fondly
think go me kindly
think of long nights chocolate-covered bodies
valentines picnincs
birthday wishes and we came true
for each other.
think of your lover as the only
one holding your naivety,
when you think of me,
let the only questions in your eyes be
why it can’t be any longer.
don’t go looking for answers,
you’ll find nothing but skeletons here
still bitting at my ankles
coffins ive tried to lay down to rest
still lay their lovers to sleep.
call me ungrateful,
all the while,
you offer your bed, to no one but me.

i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry
had i known you were right around the corner
i would have waited.

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FORTUNA
2.17-18.17
lets not forget the reason we’re here eh?
a hint of salt and harshness
i’m swimming in affection
FOX once called me a fire
that burned everything it touched
lover, you are glacier at the edge of my map
give me a chance to explore the uncharted
soft snow blankets – there’s too much to see here
between fluff-huff colored bed
there’s a prism of infinite inside this
white.
i’m a fickle hound you see,
or have been – sniffing up the wrong dresses for as long as i can remember
refusing to lick the bone for fear
of finishing the marrow
now paws in air
i’ve found loyalty –
these mad dogs mad dogs laddie
i’m all mad laz
dazed in serenity and capacity.
there’s always room for redemption
some men spend years ridding the earth to extinction
would you look at them now
creating stars from the finger paints of your last battle.
sweet little Scorpion,
you’ve brought nothing but death
to my furies
stinging them slowly with sweetness and love,
i’m breaking every cell open
releasing the old ribs from past lovers
and reminding that reluctant Eve that
pomegranates are still preferable
to some side-show “apple of my eye.”
thank you.

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1.14.17
FOX AND HOUND
i miss you like teeth misses the limbless
im parchment paper at your paper plane
drawing circles around myself
hoping to take flight somewhere between
heartbreak and growth.
if you expected nothing
who holds the door for mercy?
i guess expectation locked that window
on our fingers
it’s never been any different
perhaps all roads led to Rome
– perhaps
im some Vesuvius
and you some type of Pompeii
clinging to the statues of your last breath.

Lover – everything is temporary

forgive me
but if being an advocate of truth
makes me an agent of sadness
i’ll lick my own wounds with salt water and belly spasms
before i renounce any heartbeat.
i will cry for you,
i will mourn,
i will pity my case
and fall on my knees as i am.

i will also long,
wish desperately and hold you in another bed…
for a while at least.
but lover,
because we know the power of our hearts,
better than anyone else,
i will never stop loving.

i will learn better kindness,
i will learn some type of clarity,
and when i finally learn to recognize
the ground ive crashed into –
i will learn to get up
and welcome the next stumble with open arms.

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1.13.16
FOX AND HOUND
i told you
i have a soft spot for beings who do not know their own worth, come on in
side my heart
is made of kerosene and fiberglass
im kneeling on cut-throat
trying to understand where the lines are drawn.
turning pages hoping to find an answer
you made this legend but when you called me fire
i never saw you kindling
it never meant you, never meant goodbye.
never meant for stories to be cut short or missed to soon
so dont fucking tell me
i dont know how to hold.