12.21.16
I can still feel the scars on my chest
from when you hung your body around my neck
your noose too polished,
too clean to be messy.
I’ve begun a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle
and thunder
within me
Your scars will not define me.
12.21.16
this is the longest night of the year
the storm has come
roaring frivolities and accountability.
dust, humidity, broken frames
are amongst our exhales.
We empty, knowing the next breath is just around the corner.
Let the grief take over your heart your bones your bones your bones
are freezing with a sweetness cavity.
the present sends me shadows
of marker archetypes
the faces i still know, but have lost somewhere in translation.
this is okay.
feral is okay.
warmth is okay.
it’s okay, for optimism to hold the rains now
both shoes have dropped
and you saw the red-eye-bulls headed for your tumbling
early enough to spare your feet
the worst is over – growing pains are only the consequence of
capacity of feeling.
there is magic in the air, we can taste it.
sleep easy knowing someone finds answers in pages too.
i’m trying to learn the courage behind vulnerability. again.
12.20.16
nights divided
jay-n-birds twit twit cozy nuzzle
no mussel around my mouth
hears danger from anxious canids
they’re all mad.
but even as you caress my smooth and
cuddle my swoons
we know, there’s a $500.00 winner
all good intentions come with a price
you smell like copper coins and greed
maybe this reciprocity is best
when we only want what we can’t have
and I want you.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
thought i knew what i was doing,
but im all wrong inside
so no, i don’t know what I’m doing to you.
i’ve given you fair warnings
my sweet
12.19.20
we’re both swimming laps around my koan
i’m not re-inventing the wheel,
merely
rolling with the punches of honesty
pastoralist guiding oxygen into brittle lungs
they’ve been coveting Zyklon B
collapsed human
if you are to truly kill your idols
you must first renounce making me
so tall.
there are shades of monsters in me
and no, they are not all gray
forgive me
12.18.16
compassion’s pulled the rug from under me
waterworks and alligators slowly loosing their armor
ive been mending the wound
with bitterness and claims to futility
im too fool-ish to remain prideful
so i claim my wound
and dress it with tenderness.
this is what it looks like
when the person who kicked, who picked, and lives, is attached to your nose.
a huge hug, and one round of applause
you’ve made history.
12.17.16
i have a soft spot for beings who do not know their own worth.
come on in.
your reckless loud
put it back where it came from.
when your truly split in two
when the beast is within
growling, snarling, howling, showing teeth
two sides two the coin
mirror, i heard you the first time
shattering on my couch
i held your shards together
truth bleeding onto white ankle socks
hoping no to bruise you
hoping our carbon atoms wouldn’t
grieve us too early.
They were once part of something bigger you see,
but your brain is a tyrant
enslaving your stomach your mouth.
i don’t want to love you
i’ve seen what goodbyes can do to our hands.
11.16.16
i felt windshield and lethargy
three pecks and no perks for this wallflower
there’s a boom box booming from the wall
chopping grandmothers into
tofu and curry.
“you’re not vegan.”
you’re right. i’m not also
keen on staying in one place
working 9-5, cubicle cell, phone bull
my feet itch
your box gives me a history review
when i want to stitch
wrinkles in time
i have sold my soul
SugarDaddy gives me candy
and ive seen too much of taffy
to never forget the taste of
poison
12.11.16
MARY ANN
i know incarnations of you
the types that covet sovereignty
but youre an earthquake
whirlwind of raw
never apologize for
blowing away
————————————————————————-
i’ve payed a harsh price
to not be called naive
pulled my eyelids back and lost a socket
channeling magic learning to fly
i carry Icarus on my back
or the curse of Achilles
or maybe i’m Nessy
messy in my undoings – letting shadows make monsters out of my heartbeats.
12.10.16
im am witness to my own destruction
watch me transform.
12.9.16
I keep trying to remind my dog that, unlike her, my skin is not thickly fur-coated and cold does in fact sting. She doesn’t seem to understand and frankly, I wouldn’t either what with my constant “anti-shaving” propaganda you’d think I grow alpacas in my pits.
————————————————————————–
bitters and cold tea
you’ve gotten under my skin
my hide
and flay my raw.
no white flags today
we lay down the law
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
1. blood moons are hermit magic.
2. three moon cycle of jubilation
3. rotation is noted
4. as a punishment for your actions. you will know no comfort. if you sleep you eat.
badog.
12.08.16
(4 A.M-7A.M)
a thump thump in the back of my skull
stiff neck, aching muscles and
broken skin.
two lovers – four beds
you’d think it was a full moon.
there’s no teeth here
no hackles raised.
i don’t want to know you,
feel your bed mold around my body like safe keep
your lips tracing fingers of perhaps in my nightstand.
humming a purr from my chest
how can satisfaction leave you so parched?
“to be idolized or recognized?”
12.07.16
A1
the sequence was not intentional
i see the pattern
there’s a lightness in all of us. mine happens to be aimless hopes and, national dismemberment of the self.
you like stripping down people don’t you? peeling back the layers, pixeling the puzzle, alphabetizing strengths and weakness by convenience
so you can sit back and
detach.
if you know it, you understand it
understand it and you rationalize it
rationalize it and it can’t touch you feel it creeping getawaytooclose
maybe i’m bitter lava and tidy playlists
maybe i’m just a good mirror for you.