DANCER

8.29.19
the clock ticking hours dipped in honey with you
the past increases
the future decreases
possibilities decreasing attempting to keep remorse at bay
whatever you are seeking wont come in the form you expect
your persistence gently breaking down mud walls
planting seeds taking root
creeping through stone walls they’re crumbling all barriers
when you speak to parts of myself so private
so secrete
they’re almost denied existence –
do you have any idea, how exposed you’ve made me?
dodging questions youre reading into me it’s terrifying
open my rib-cage an assault on the protected there’s nothing
hard cover left
my story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious,
as real stories are
it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams-like the lives of all who stop deceiving themselves
im no writer, no dancer, no leader, nothing special
i dream
sometimes i feel that’s the one thing im good at

i live in my dreams maybe that’s what you sense
other people live in dreams, but not in their own
that’s the difference

so we struggle through laughter
you hold my hands above my head and i
melt into some new type of pleasure
no one likes change they didn’t elicit
im learning to be okay
to let go – let you, let life
take control

DANCER

8.19.19
“how do you not see physics, Blue?”
sweet naive, you ask the wrong questions
how do you not yet understand
nothing is ever what it seems

i told you before
i’ve been humbled
today i walk gracefully, intentionally, curiously
for someone with a knack
for always knowing more than they should
you are painfully blind

besides, that was fucking rude.


8.17.19
last night i burned alive
came back a little less lunar
a little more human
a little more sunshine now
what witchcraft it is
to sunrise every morning
and not ask if it is time
if the sky is ready
or if we have permission
to burn wildly
what a treacherous thing – knowing my power

that same night you asked
to be on top

i bit my tongue instead of yours
hammers disguised as questions
crushing my glass house ideas of what i think i want
tug of war
with a mind insulted by the thought
making my body shake with desire


8.16.19
Falling like the stars
when you asked why i was nervous
i didn’t realize there were doors still closed
in me
somewhere
i must have know
loving your dance would inevitably mean
one less padlock for me
one more key for you

DANCER

8.14.19

heres the shoe dropping
the slow burn building
consequences stacking in your ovaries
like morning after pills
making you snarl, consume, break out
into temper tantrums
this isnt you
red eyed reactions
you’re not just chemicals
try to breath beyond the : you’ve ruined my body

cracks in that illusion
strange men leading your body better, quicker, stronger than him
trying not to overthink it

easy for you to climb up the ladder
letting me dangle
Fuck you. Fuck your ambivalence.

DANCER

8.4.19
Darwin mentioned survival of the fittest twice in his theory of evolution.
He mentioned love 95 times.

there are days of you on my skin
bruises of me on yours
black and blue my fingertips on your chest
a sunset licked night
the perfect plum – juice sweet and tart ripeness

Eric Garner

we re raising some flag at half mast because shit fucking hurts sometimes

so let us be lamb
syrup in salted eggs
the sound of your lovers heartbeat lulling you to sleep
when so much of your body speaks to mine
how can it matter whos rib to who
catching me off guard with what i already know
lover, these tears are joy tender soul thinking
“oh there you are, i’ve been looking for you”

all that to say
let us be the force of nature darwin spoke off
an avalanche of kindness a downpour of sweet
let us be tree sap and sunlight kisses
let us be wind giving company to the lonely
or at the very least
let us love one another – right here, right now, in the belly of the beast in the gentle of the moment. As I do, as you have.